You remember the first real blog I wrote for the website? I mentioned I have this weird knack for finding a quote from film that fits perfectly toward everyday life. Theoretically, it’s bound to happen because behind every story and script is human who incorporated some aspect of their life into their work – anyways – did I mention before I ramble? Back to the point, I am so extremely excited about all these rumors floating around Gilmore Girls - A Year in the Life returning for another season therefore I decided to binge watch the entire series all over again. I have a serious problem guys!
Season 2, Episode 8 – The Ins & Outs of Inns: Skip to thirty-eight minutes into the episode – you’ll find yourself watching the scene that hit me to the core. Lorelai is confiding in Luke of her mixed emotions about leaving the Inn she called home in her younger years and opening her own. I STINK at paraphrasing and I would hate to take away from a script that already hit it on the nose:
Luke: You’re just scared like everybody else when they’re taking on something big.
Lorelai: What does everybody else do to get through this feeling?
Luke: They run in the back, throw up, pass out, then smack their head on the floor.
Lorelai: (confused) What?
Luke: That’s what I did on the first morning I opened the diner. Look, there’s no button to push to get you through this. You just got to jump in be scared and stick with it until it gets fun.
Lorelai: How long until the diner got fun?
Luke: About a year.
Lorelai: Wow, and there’s no button?
Lorelai: How about a lever, can I pull a lever?
Lorelai: Turn a knob.
Lorelai: You just jump?
Luke: You just jump.
Lorelai: (sighs) I want to do it.
Luke: You should do it.
Did you feel that too?
At the beginning of the year – I was hit was some hard news, I was having car problems, things were happening in my family, but I was short staffed yet again at the convenience drug store I had been managing for a year and a half. I was pulling 60 – 70 hours a week and I was tired. I loved what I did, but I felt like I was overworked, I was fixing problems all the time, I could never do anything right, and I was losing the excitement and drive that I had when I first came back to the company.
My husband and I had briefly talked about me leaving the company over the holidays – we knew it was very risky because I didn’t have an ideal client base yet or a steady booking rate, but I put myself and my passion on the back burner for far too long. I knew that as long as I held a full-time job my photography would always finish second. I would have to schedule everything around work and God forbid if something went wrong or if someone didn’t show up for their shift to relieve me. Juggling a side hustle just didn’t work for me – when I do something or work at something I have to give it my full and undivided attention or it would only be done half-heartedly. I don’t know anything about businesses at all, but I’m pretty sure they don’t blossom when you’re distracted or when you’re not… what’s the phrase…. “in it to win it.”
Honestly, I don’t even remember what finally drew the line for me or gave me the strength to finally put in my resignation – I just know that I just called my boss at the time, discussed when I wanted to leave, and after I hung up the phone I felt this huge burden lift from my shoulders. I knew I was carrying some weight, but I had no idea how much until that exact moment. It was a strange feeling to me! For the first time in months I was able to breathe and function.
Taking that plunge was (and still is) scary as HELL!
It’s scary because it’s new, unpredictable, irresponsible (since I didn’t have a lump sum of money saved), out of my comfort zone, and to be completely honest with you – I’m afraid of falling flat on my face. I know that failing is all part of the process of success, but that doesn’t make it any less terrifying and I’m going to take a wild guess that since you’re reading this you feel the same way too.
Can I let you in on a little secret? I’m glad I took that risk because so many things have fallen into place since then. For once in my short life I feel content and happy with who I am and where I am in life. For once I was able to build relationships with people and attend events I had been dying to go to. Words can’t describe how wonderful and rewarding that feels.
I think that’s the message that the writers and producers of Gilmore Girls wanted to convey in the scene above – it may be scary to change things in our life and go after our dreams, but how will we ever know if we don’t jump or take those risks? We won’t.